Looking to the past

So I’m starting to put in all my old journal entries from when I really first started changing my life till now. Enjoy!

So I was hanging out with some friends one Friday night and we were discussing our weeks and my buddy Dimetery Stoilofe (yes he's Russian) said "I'm just not as close to God as I us to be. At that moment God gave me this thought, and this is what I told all of them...

I often hear Christians say "o I us to only listen to Christian music pray every day, read the word and just be on fire for the Lord. But right now I just don’t know I just can’t seem to get that close to God again."

"You’re only as close to God now as you want to be"

I have a friend that I’m still praying for named Mike (that’s a fake name for other purposes) and Mike was in a pretty big ministry spot in the church. But he always talked about how there was one point in his life that he was just so close to God and how he us to just listen to Christian music and pray like hours a day. And how he just got to busy and he never said this but I believe he felt that he would never reach that closeness ever again. A year or two later he was burned out and I believe just sick of the whole church and Christian thing and quit his ministry in the church. He now very rarely comes to church and works instead.

So Mike what was wrong with him, what happened? Well I believe one he was not in the word as much or at all and that he put his past relationship on a pedestal so high that he felt he would never be able to reach it again. And it was hindering his growth in the Lord and opened his ears up to the devils lies. For the word says

Phl 3:12 Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already been made perfect, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me. Phl 3:13 Brothers, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead,
Phl 3:14 I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.

The main word here is Strain, we need to strain and push forwards or you won’t grow and you will eventually get burnt out or spiritually dry. Stop talking about how you were so close to the Lord and instead act and strain to and for what the Lord has for you know.

The Webster’s definition of strain

Strain = Difficulty that causes worry or emotional tension

physical strain = deformation of a physical body under the action of applied forces.

(psychology strain)= nervousness resulting from mental stress; "his responsibilities were a constant strain"; "the mental strain of staying alert hour after hour was too much for him"

Love

So this morning I read again the Mike Donehey devotional and it was on the song Times. And the message was about that you’ll never be changed by the love of God until you’re completely honest with yourself and how undeserving you are of it. His love is underneath, higher than the heights of our purity, and lower than the depth of our depravity and not one of us is without our need of Him.

What is God’s Love to you?

How are you not being completely honest with yourself?

Do you truly believe that you’re undeserving of God’s love and that through His awesome Grace we are made perfect?

Do you honestly believe he loves you and how much?

All these questions are something we as Christians should know the answer to and ask themselves them every day. But I know that we all don’t know or remember on a day to day basis about the love of God. Our understanding of love is partial if that?
Yes you would die for a friend or a family member, but would you die for ones you hate? For the ones that hate you.
Because my friend did and is name is Jesus Christ. He not only suffered persecution but a huge amount of pain but He did that with the weight of the world’s sin on His shoulders and died while we still hated Him. How great is our God?! How great is His love, how wide, who deep, who great is your love for me?

Here are the words to the song Times by Tenth Avenue North enjoy.


i hear you say "my love is over,
its underneath, its inside, its in between
the times you doubt me, when you can't feel
the times that you've questioned 'is this for real?'
the times you've broken, the times that you mend
the times you hate me and the times that you bend
well my love is over, its underneath
its inside, its in between,
these times you're healing
and when your heart breaks
the times that you feel like you've fallen from grace
the times you're hurting
the times that you heal
the times you go hungry and *are tempted* to steal
in times of confusion and chaos and pain
im there in your sorrow under the weight of your shame
im there through your heartache
im there in the storm
my love i will keep you by my power alone
i dont care where you've fallen, where you have been
i'll never forsake you
my love never ends, it never ends

Who you Are

So have we strived enough to remember who God is? Well do it, and remember what he's done fo all of us and how Awesome his power is.
Here's an awesome song by The Desperation Band Who you Are just sit back and try to remember who He is.



I won’t be satisfied
I won’t be found alright ‘til I find
Who You are

I’d climb every mountain
I’d travel the deepest valley to find
Who You are

You, You cause the lame to walk
You open lips to talk
You’re everything and that is who You are
You, You calm the storms at night
You turn the dark to light
You’re everything and that is who You are

My Savior, my Healer, Redeemer
That is who You are
Creator, my Maker, my Father
That is who You are

Lie's or Truth?

Hey its me again, So alto has happend since we last chated. I believev the devil is trying his last resort atack on the Cusco group and he's hitting us real hard.

So question how do we know its God speaking to use and not us or the devil? We we can always expect the devil to hinder us when we are doing the work of our God.

Jared Bouton sent this mesage to all extreme staff for encoragement. "I know now is a difficult time for you all! It seems that Satan has really bombarded us with one thing after another lately and, to put it simply, it sucks. It sucks for so many reasons BUT ... it is also encouraging to know that we are a big enough threat to him for him to worry about us! However, I know, I know, I know .... it doesn't make it any easier. I just want you to understand that we can have peace in every situation knowing that God is in control; that we don't need to worry!"Psalms 119:165
Great peace have they who love your law, and nothing can make them stumble.
But its true, it sucks but to think that the devil has to try this hard, were doing somthing right.

I feel like im being bombarded with the devil form this atack, who can some other people think its God telling them to leave when we had 12 40/40's and no we have 6 and they think that it would be better to go somewere els? NO that aint the God its the devil. The devil dose not want use to go to Cusco. The Pastor there is even feeling it pritty bad. Jer 4:19 My heart, my heart--I writhe in pain! My heart pounds within me! I cannot be still. For I have heard the blast of enemy trumpets and the roar of their battle cries. WELL I WILL REFUSE TO LET HIM WIN!!!! HEAR THE LORDS BATTEL CRY IN THE REST OF THIS TEAM.. Join in and fight..... AH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I hate the devil so much im shaking. But we can have peace in every situation knowing that God is in control; that we don't need to worry! AMEN?!

Well please join the Cusco group in prayer. Thank you

Beloved

Mike Donehey devotional”
The disciples must have thought Jesus was crazy. Seriously. I can only imagine their faces. So confused, so perplexed, uncomfortably glancing back and forth between each other, wondering if they had misheard, wondering if someone could help them understand. Meanwhile, you got Jesus, unnerved, unfazed, just sitting there cooly, looking them dead in the eyes, asking them to marry Him. Yes, you heard me right…marry Him. With nothing more than a cup of wine, no less, the Lamb of God was proposing. So you can imagine their confusion right? “Wait. What? Come again? Jesus, you feeling alright brotha? I mean, I don’t think that I’m exactly what you’re looking for! You want to think about what you’re saying for a minute?”
Of course, we don’t see it that way, because we’re not Jewish. But they were, and they did. See it that way, I mean. “Drink from it, all of you. This is my blood of the covenant, which is poured out for many for the forgiveness of sins.” We hear these words and we think Communion, Eucharist, Last Supper. The disciples heard this and they’re thinking wedding bells.
Apparently, “In those days,” when a Hebrew man decided to take for Himself a Hebrew woman, he’d go to his father and say, “Her, Dad. I want to make little rabbis with her.” So then the dad would go to her dad and they’d talk camels, or sheep, or whatever the payment was going to be, and after they’d settled on a figure, the groom would call in all his friends and family, set a table in the middle of a room, set the aforementioned girl down in front of said table, break out a cup, fill it with wine, and set it in front of her saying, “This is my covenant with you, take and drink it.” And if she did, that was her answer. With a simple gulp and swig, she was saying, “I do,” and that was it. No rings, no fancy songs or dinners, just a cup and an invitation. And oh yeah, all their relatives sitting in the room watching. I mean, talk about pressure. But yeah, that was it. Her lips to the glass was the same as saying, “I accept your life, and I give you mine in return.”
Now, If the girl said yes, “in those days,” she would then go immediately back to her home, where she would be known as, “one who was bought with a price.” It’s true. That was her name. Kind of long and tedious, and extremely hard to shout out in a game of soccer, but that was it. And with her new identity, she would go back to her town, and start preparing for the wedding. And really, she’d just start waiting for future husband to finish what he had to do and come and get her. What was he doing? Well, during the engagement, the groom’s primary responsibility was to build a mansion for him and his bride to be.
Now girls, before you get too excited, let me explain. “Mansion” in Hebrew means, “apartment.” And what’s even better is that this apartment was actually more like an addition, because the groom would build it onto his parents pre-existing house. Yes. You heard me correctly. Their first home would be with the in-laws. And right now, I can just imagine how many girls are thinking, “oh please don’t let me marry a Jewish boy.” It’s true though. He would build his “mansion” onto the family “insula,” which is what they would call the family dwelling. You see, the entire family would just keep building on and building on until you had what was basically a city block, all comprised of one big bustling Jewish family. (And you thought My Big Fat Greek Wedding was bad) Crazy, but also true.
Well, as you can imagine, this process could take quite a while. I mean, it’s a house for crying out loud. Some scholars say it was six months, or even a year before the poor guy was finished. And get this, the only one who could decide if it was finished was the father. So he’d be working and working and working, and every day looking to his dad, saying, “Are we done yet?” And I can just imagine the father messing with him. Taking his time, looking it over, and then just saying, “Almost.” Could you imagine? Oh, the agony! And to top it all off, the groom and the bride weren’t even allowed to talk to each other. Nothing. Nada. Zip. They couldn’t see or speak to one another during the entire engagement, except for one outlet. The best man. He’d be the instant messenger if you will. Taking notes back and forth between the doting couple. And those moments were probably pretty funny. “Here’s your note, ‘one who was bought with a price.’ Check yes, no, or maybe.” Unbelievable.
But you know, how much more beautiful would that day be when the father finally approved? That day when the groom was finally finished, and he could gather up his homeboys, or ‘groomsmen’ as we westerners would say, and imperiously march into his fiance’s town? Oh it was sweet. And that’s just what he’d do. He’d get his bridal party together and they’d come to her house, and without any prior announcement or advanced warning, they would blow a shofar, which was a ram’s horn that served as a trumpet, and upon hearing it, the pining bride would come bustling out her front door and practically straight down the aisle, and into her beloved’s arms. The period of waiting and wanting would be over, and the two would be united at last to consummate their long-awaited union. Joy. Happiness. Little Rabbis… You know, all the good stuff.
So then, back to the dinner table with the 12. Can you sense where this is going? Jesus breaks into this marriage proposal, cup out, wine-filled, offering his covenant with them. They accept. “I do” to Jesus. Gulp, gulp. “I accept your life, and I give you mine in return.” So then, what does Jesus do? He explains how they have to spend some time apart. Naturally. Only this is going to be longer than a year. However, the best man was coming. His name? The Holy Spirit. So when Jesus leaves, off to get busy preparing a “mansion” for them, (“in my Father’s house there are many rooms”) He doesn’t leave them alone, but instead sends His own mediator, the Holy Spirit, to keep the messages going between Himself and his Beloved. Meanwhile, the bride is left behind in her town, keeping watch, day and night, not knowing the day, time or hour that the bridegroom will appear. Until finally, after a long-awaited return, and we’re talking seriously, long awaited; centuries and millenniums waited people, after this much awaited consummation, the Father alone will announce that the time has come, and Jesus will be coming back for all His faithful, all who are His bride. With a posse of angels and loud trumpet call of their own, He will take us home, to the marriage supper of the Lamb! And we will share in ever-increasing joy and intimacy with Him forever and ever. As C.S. Lewis so brilliantly articulated, “Further up and further in!”
And people still want to insist that Christianity is no more than a religion.
I don’t know about you but in light of this information, it puts Jesus in an entirely different light. He’s no longer an ideal, or a belief system. He’s a person. And to put it more precisely, He is a groom in love with his bride. And not just any bride, but a wayward, adulterous bride. A bride who is half-hearted at best, chasing other lovers and other interests more than Him. And still, He keeps on loving. He keeps on being faithful, He keeps his promises.
In the Old Testament, He tells his prophet Hosea to marry an unfaithful woman, to show everyone the way He loves his people. (see Hosea 3) In the New, He tells us that divorce will never be an option for Him. (Phil 1:6) Over and over and over again, From Isaiah, to Ezekiel, to Ephesians, He tells us that we are not just his children, but we are his bride. Faithless though we might be, we are His, and He is ours.
And like I said before, this changes everything. It changes the way I view prayer. It changes the way I view marriage. It even changes the reasons that I obey. As Donald Miller once said, “it’s a far different thing to break a rule, than it is to cheat on a lover.” I only pray that it changes things for you.

Hey its Alex again well this totally changes the way I view prayer and the reason I obey. But it also changes the way I think of gods and my relationship. I copied and pasted this from Tenth Avenue North’s journal website / there blog, but I believe everyone needs to hear this and live as the bride of Christ.

Tenth Avenue North is pritty Awesome.

So every morning i get up at 6 to spend time with God. And my friend Cailyn (Idk if I spelled that wrong?) Is letting me read a devotional from tenth avenue north. It’s awesome, here’s a piece of today’s.
Quote from Tenth avenue north’s book
“Is Christ a means to an end or an end in Himself?”
In other words,
This Christmas, If you could get everything you ever wanted,
I’m talking, snow, family, maybe a 70’’ plasma screen,
if you could have no more pain and no more crying,
streets of gold, angels in the sky, or a castle on a cloud;
if you could go to heaven and receive relief from your guilt,
healing from your diseases, and safety from your enemies,
but you couldn’t have Christ, would you still have everything you ever wanted?
Would you be happy?
This question blew me away, would you be happy? I don’t know, do we remember what Christ did for us? I mean I’m sure we do but really understand what really happened? What he does for us?


Mike Donehey continues to say “Because, I’ve got to be honest.
This Christmas, sitting by the fire in Michigan,
watching the snow fall and being reminded that I don’t have to earn grace,
the one thing I want this Christmas is to be home.
You can keep your music and gifts and all your movies, I just want home.
As I’ve gotten older, and as the years have gone by,
and as I’ve been disappointed year after year by
the very presents that I thought for sure would bring me happiness,
I’ve begun to realize that this world is not my home.
My life is hidden with Christ, He is my life, my righteousness,
and the very treasure that my heart is aching for”.
So would you be happy? What would you give up to the lord? What’s to precious to you that you can’t give up? Anything?

Why?

Ask yourself.

So why am I a Christian, What makes me different? Ya I go to church, but what’s different on the inside? Am I putting first the kingdom of God or am I getting comfortable? What’s the point of even calling Me a Christian?
So why are we Christians, What makes us different? Well we don’t quit and we never give up and always believe that God is going to answer our prayers. We also never give up on people, even the ones that are the furthest away from the lord. They are the ones that are going to be the strong leaders. And why do we do this because God does it for us.

We love when it’s impossible to love. When your boss (or spouse, parents, class mates or the Devil) is just trying to get under your skin what do we do? We can’t always control our thoughts but we can control what we act on. Showing love is the best comeback, reaction and resolver. I knew it’s the most difficult thing you can do but I’d be willing to bet anything that it’s also the best thing you could do. And plus its one of the best ways to show Gods Love. For example in Matthew 27:64-68 Matthew 26:64-68 ( NLT )
Jesus replied, “You have said it. And in the future you will see the Son of Man seated in the place of power at God’s right hand and coming on the clouds of heaven.”
Then the high priest tore his clothing to show his horror and said, “Blasphemy! Why do we need other witnesses? You have all heard his blasphemy.
What is your verdict?” “Guilty!” they shouted. “He deserves to die!”
Then they began to spit in Jesus’ face and beat him with their fists. And some slapped him,
jeering, “Prophesy to us, you Messiah! Who hit you that time?”

Jesus Christ’s passion for bringing people to the kingdom of God is ours. How do we minister to people on a busy day? Do we pray that God would help us have a good attitude or do we tell our self that we will show Christ like actions through the whole day and that’s it? Well let me tell you it’s great to showing Christ like actions when we’re in your car and we’re letting someone pass us but to have that be our only way to minister to people is a copout. We’re telling ourselves its ok not to tell people about Christ, we’re scared. So what’s the different between us and the world?

Missions statistics from the places of the 10/40 Window

World evangelism statistics: Of the 55 least evangelized countries, 97% of their population lives within the Ten Forty Window.
cheak it out

Unless something changes soon, most of these unreached people will never hear the Gospel. Why? Well, Bryant Myers of World Vision has estimated that only about one and a quarter percent ( 1.25% )of Christian mission giving is going to missions work in the 10/40 Window. Open evangelism is difficult and even impossible because of governmental restrictions in many 10/40 Window countries. Those are creative access areas.

What will you do in the next five days that will move the Church toward reaching people in the 10/40 window with the gospel?
The vision of a dying world: The people in the mission fields
Working on a school report about missions? Here are some facts to use.

Missions statistics from the places of the 10/40 Window:
Center of population:Two-thirds of the world's population -- more than 4.4 billion people -- live in the 10/40 Window.
Unreached and unevangelized: 90% of the people living in the 10/40 Window are unevangelized. Many have never heard the Gospel message even once. There are either no Christians or not enough of a Christian movement in many cultures of the 10/40 Window to carry out vibrant near-neighbor evangelism. If those groups are to be evangelized, believers will need to leave their own culture and enter another one where they will seek to plant the gospel, perhaps even learning a new language in order to communicate. Such cross-cultural evangelism is required because there are people groups with no church movements that are understandable or relevant to them.
Good news: There's a difference between unreached and unreachable. In 1989 there were only four known Christians living in Mongolia. That country now has an estimated 10,000 indigenous believers. Also, Christian television programming can now be received in many closed 10/40 Window nations.
Poverty: Eighty-five percent of those living in the 10/40 window are the poorest of the world's poor. [ PowerPoint on Third World development ]
Good news: Christians delivered more than $1 million worth of food to just one 10/40 Window refugee camp in a recent year. In one North African country that is hostile to the Gospel, abundant rain fell after an Easter service. A local news channel reported, "Christians have brought rain to the desert."
World religions: Islam, Buddhism and Hinduism are centered within the 10/40 Window. [ more info ]
Least evangelized cities: Half of the world's least evangelized cities are in this window.

Sharing the Gospel

So what are some reasons we refrain from sharing the gospel? Well a big key the devil uses to stop us is fear and we allow him to. For the word says “
Matthew 10:16-20 (NLT)
“Look, I am sending you out as sheep among wolves. So be as shrewd as snakes and harmless as doves.
But beware! For you will be handed over to the courts and will be flogged with whips in the synagogues.
You will stand trial before governors and kings because you are my followers. But this will be your opportunity to tell the rulers and other unbelievers about me.
When you are arrested, don’t worry about how to respond or what to say. God will give you the right words at the right time.
For it is not you who will be speaking — it will be the Spirit of your Father speaking through you. So what is there to fear?

The next thing I see is that people don’t make bringing people to Christ a big deal. They put it third or fourth in their life. I was just in Cusco and a short termer named Jessie gave his testimony. And it blew me away this is what he said “My first son died when he was one and I went to the Catholic Church to set up a burial service. The priest asked if the boy had been baptized and I said no. The priest replied then we cannot have a burial service for your son. I was crushed; I hardened my heart towards God and life. I drank a six pack every night. My wife was saved by being invited to a Christian church one night and started praying for me. About a year later the lord started giving me a vision in my dreams. God would take me out of my body with a bright light and would say what do you see? I would look and see people in the distance being carried away to hell, and I would be crying asking God to help as I was trying to reach them. But God replied THAT’S YOU JOB. This happened for 4 weeks then one night my brother came over and I told him about my dreams. At that moment a light came down and shined on my brother, son, wife and I. I accepted Christ in to my heart that night.” Wow … Do we even believe in hell? Because if you did then would make sharing the gospel the first thing on your list. For the word says “
Matthew 28:18-20 (NLT)
Jesus came and told his disciples, “I have been given all authority in heaven and on earth.
Therefore, go and make disciples of all the nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit.
Teach these new disciples to obey all the commands I have given you. And be sure of this: I am with you always, even to the end of the age.”

The 3rd thing that I see is that us as Christians try our whole lives to try and live close to the Lord Jesus Christ. I hear people say all the time I need to focus on getting closer to God when they have been a Christian all their lives. And they don’t put the passion or the effort that they put into trying to get close to God, into growing the kingdom of God. For the word says “
Acts 20:24 ( NLT )
But my life is worth nothing to me unless I use it for finishing the work assigned me by the Lord Jesus—the work of telling others the Good News about the wonderful grace of God.

Awesome Song

Carlos Wittaker, We Will Worship you
We fix our eyes on You, You are God alone
We fix our eyes on You, You’re our only hope
For all we have to lose is our very souls
(Repeat)

CHORUS
Save us from these comforts
Break us of our need for the familiar
Spare us any joy that’s not of You
And we will worship You
Yeah, we will worship You

VERSE 2
Satisfy us, Lord, in Your unfailing love
Satisfy us, Lord, that You would be enoug
We have nothing here, let Your kingdom come
REPEAT CHORUS

BRIDGE
Hal - le - lu - jah, Hal - le - lu - jah
Hal - le - lu - jah, Hal - le - lu – jah



Now let’s think, We fix our eyes on You, You are God alone
We fix our eyes on You, You’re our only hope.. Now is that true in our lives? Why do we or should we fix our eyes on him? Because He is God alone, the Lord is what keeps us straight and on the righteous and Godly path. And He is our only hope to do that. But why do this because For all we have to lose is our very souls. I don’t know about you but that’s a big deal for me.

Save us from these comforts, when you sing this do you know what you’re singing? Think about it. That is one of the biggest fears of us all. To be out of our comfort zone but that is where God uses us the most. Why do we fear this? Are we scared to let go control?
Break us of our need for the familiar, Amen!!!!!!!!!!! Why be content with ok when God has called us to be great?

Spare us any joy that’s not of You, Are we willing to give that up? Gossiping, porn, smoking, drugs, certain friends and or this world? Anything hindering us from getting closer to God. That is not pleasing to him. Like “May the words of my mouth and the thoughts of my heart be pleasing to you, O LORD, my rock and my redeemer.” Psalms 19:14
Satisfy us, Lord, in Your unfailing love, Satisfy us, Lord, that You would be enough, We have nothing here, let Your kingdom come. Let us Pray this so that He would satisfy us with his love and that he would be enough. And let us remember that we have nothing on and in this world and LETS BE EXCITED ABOUT HIS KINGDOM TO COME!!!!!!! WOO!!!