Feeling

Hey so October 8th 2008 God put me in the worship ministry at church.But in october 15th I had been praying that God would help me to stop relying on the feeling of him. While I’d be worshiping and leading it I could not feel God any more, but I kept pushing on and trying my hardest to worship but still nothing. After a few weeks I was sick of it and I prayed that God would help me understand why I mean I can’t explain it, it was like when I would worship there was like a bunny jumping and distracting me in my mind like I always had something I was thinking about.

But one day while I was driving my awesome beautiful 1994 Grand Mercury Markey God told me that the feeling from him is like a fire work, something that he gives us for a reason not only just to feel good.

So a fire work is lit, it fly’s as fast as it can to the sky. Burning at a rapped passé whistling till it can’t go any more and explodes with awesome lights and passion. But as time goes by the fire work fades and eventually disappears.

If we are relying on only that feeling what happens when its disappears, when it goes? I figured out that I was actually worshiping the feeling and no Christ Jesus. God was putting that bunny/ thought that kind of distracted me to push me, to drive me to surrender all I had when I was worshiping.

At that point I never had that problem again. And I felt closer to God KNOWING that he is always by my side.